Monday, January 18, 2010

Back to the drawing board….

I spent all morning writing a blog post about a defining moment in my life, and Martin Luther King Day seemed the day to articulate these thoughts. We’ve come a long way since Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, but we still need to keep the dream alive.

I then spent less, but more frustrating, time scouring the house for my 1978 Lake Michigan Catholic High School Yearbook. Before doing so, I even logged onto a classmates website for the ‘free’ membership in hopes of finding the photo I was looking for.

Even tho a picture of an old cute neighbor boy of mine popped up as the ‘newest’ member of the site, I still wasn’t tempted to pay the $9.95 not-so-free fee to gain access.

One of the reasons I started blogging was to find my individual, as opposed to collaborative, voice as a writer. Since my writing partner is also my mother, she’s highly supportive of the whole endeavor. Also, I wanted to finally write about things I’ve mulled for years. Like defining moments from my older son’s younger days that have helped shape me into the ‘holding on and letting go’ mom I am.

We spoke yesterday after he returned from the Berlin airport where he saw his girlfriend off on her return trip to the States. Even though Erik flies back in three weeks, he said it was really hard to go to the airport and not be getting on a plane to come home.

So I have a lot on my mind, the words need visuals, and the dishwasher needs unloading.

All I ever wanted was to be a mom and a writer. And some days I just struggle to do either well enough.

4 comments:

  1. I love that in your profile you write that you are a mom, first. I always wanted to a a "writer and a mom." Trying to do both is hard, but I now know if I am a good mother first I will consider myself a success. Also keep this in mind: My husband tells me, as I start back to work and my son spends his first days in day care, that he wants our son to know that his mom is a person too - a person who is smart and has goals and her own life, etc. I love that my husband admires who I am and that my son might someday be too. I am sure your sons and husband respect all that you do!

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  2. * I meant that my son might also someday admire me - that "be" was extra :)

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  3. You are so cute, Jessica...I knew what you meant but we writers always correct ourselves! Thanks for your uplifting words!

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  4. Pam, I personally think you do both marvelously!

    Holly

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