Saturday, March 20, 2010

Same Number, New Phone, Same Husband…

“It’s a lifestyle change, not a husband change,” mine said to me in the pasta sauce aisle in Walmart a few months ago.

That statement leaped to mind this morning when I tried to figure out what was ringing (my new phone) and how to check the message (I don’t know how yet).

Now to be fair, my husband hasn’t set up voicemail on his new Blackberry yet, either. But at least he knows how. My technologically advanced friends (and they are legion) would argue I could figure it out, but in the marital ‘division of labor’ category, setting up new electronics falls under dh’s purview.

In the bigger scheme of things, we approach tasks very differently. He employs the ‘triage’ method while I'm a ‘big picture worrywart multitasker.’ Somehow we complement each other, cancel each other out or get cantankerous with one another. Or all three.

In the end, things work out. It’s the getting there that can be… challenging.

I don’t remember what precipitated the Walmart argument, but I’m trying to remember to take my husband’s words to heart.

When we made the decision to relocate to a much smaller university closer to family and my husband’s beloved wide open spaces, we dubbed the decision the now much overused phrase ‘It’s a lifestyle change.’

The statute of limitations on using that term is up, but it still gets dusted off and hauled out (usually by me).

But until my husband reminded me he wasn’t going to change his overall personality, I’d kind of expected a marriage miracle when it came to minute things like sorting through mail, etc. And to be fair, many of his irksome habits have improved, whereas I’m sure mine have only gotten worse (whining about the incessant prairie winds!).

In the end, though the process may differ, we get the desired results.


You can’t ask for anything more.


  1. All I can say is there's something else we have in common. Marriage. It is ebb and flow. Up and down. All or nothing doesn't jive in a marriage. It's all gray matter neither here nor there and never black and white. You have to wear rose colored glasses most of the time to see the glass is half full and not half empty.
    Most of the phases a marriage goes through, we've already battled. Honeymoon stage, first week.
    Settling in, second week. Fighting and I'm leaving for several years. Then the kids came along and since I knew I'd inherit them in the divorce, I stayed. Besides I knew I'd never find anyone who loved our three little girls as much as he did. And me too. So, we're into our 48th yr. of marriage. But who's counting. Blessings

  2. Thanks for your insightful words! Forty-eight?! You must have been married young indeed! We hit 28 in August, and this summer celebrate my in-laws 60th!

  3. A lot of our bickering occurs in the car, such as when Bill takes a different route than I prefer, or drives faster than I would like, or accidentally hits a pothole. He calls it "Driving Miss Daisy," and I say, "That's right and don't forget it."

    We bicker over a lot of other things too, and after 30 years, it's a good thing, I figure, or what on earth would we have to talk about?
    Our children just roll their eyes.

  4. I may be missing the point, but we've also had some light-bulb moments in store aisles :)